in moderation

I'm still seeking answers to questions I cannot yet solve. In a short time, so much has happened and so much in my life has changed to where I no longer know a right direction. Finding myself...finding motivation to keep going...to keep living...to keep hope though I know the ultimate destination. I miss my grandfather deeply. So much so that I keep my bottled up emotions inside just to have them rupture out when I am weak. I am no longer the rock to my family that I once portrayed. How do I regroup from falling completely apart? I don't know what yet...but in December all be made clearer.